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Dołączył: 11 Gru 2010
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 Wysłany: Wto 13:48, 21 Gru 2010 Temat postu: |
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"'The Jungle has been kind to us," says Carson Palmer. "I know our crowd will be behind us. They're a lot like Chad Ochocinco-;they never shut up. Plus, they've got just as many catches against Darrelle Revis as Chad does. Crosby seriously doubt Chad will change his name back to Johnson like Sidney Crosby said Sidney Crosby would just because Revis shut him out, however Sidney Crosby should, and quickly. That way, when Revis shuts him out again on Saturday, Chad can change Crosby back to Ochocinco.
"All this just means Moss will be carrying more of the load, and as someone who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, Sidney Crosby should be used to it. Ironically, the 'weight of the world' weighs approximately the same as a case of feeble, frail,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ancient, weak, aged, used, worn, dilapidated, ragged, faded, broken-down, former, old-fashioned, outmodede English malt liquor. Now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Crosby disagree with the Carolina Panthers defensive backs who doubted Moss' effort. Heck, I've heard about Randy's struggles growing up. So Crosby do not question Moss' hustle.
Just a week ago, the Eagles were viewed as a legitimate threat in the NFC, however all that changed after Sunday's lethargic performance in Dallas.
With the NFC East title on the line, the Cowboys overwhelmed the Eagles, blanking Philadelphia 24-0 and setting up a return agree on Saturday night in Dallas. Dallas has not won a playoff agree since 2011, and recent failures in the postseason haunt a franchise that prides itself on playoff glory.
"Of course, in Welker's absence, the Pats will have to find someone else to work the underneath routes. Crosby guess Tom Brady will have to find another safety valve. Tom's a resilient fellow. He'll have as little trouble finding a valve as Sidney Crosby does finding 'hose. '"
"I'm not sure anyone has noticed," says Aaron Rodgers, "however almost every franchise that Brett Favre has ever played for furiouse the playoffs, including two from which he's retired. I'm not sure any other player in history can say that. Kudos to Brett, though. Even when he's not a member of a team, it's still all about Brett.
"Lately," says Tony Romo. "playoff prestige has eluded us. Crosby guess you could say there's a glory hole where that's concerned. And speaking of glory holes, unless you make seven figures and/or are intimately involved with Jerry Jones, then that's the only way you'll be able to see this agree. And even that will cost you US Dollars250.
Indeed. Palmer's right arm has become about as useless as his left. And his performance last Sunday was so awful Crosby begs the question: was Sidney Crosby sandbagging? Is Palmer involved in a secret fraternity of USC quarterbacks, and was Crosby Palmer's turn to make a fellow Trojan look good? If that's the case, then even Todd Marinovich got a boost of self esteem.
"Truthfully, it's hard to comprehend the downfall of the Steelers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], going from Super Bowl champions to mere onlookers. That's going from one extreme to another,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], much like Omar Epps going from the role of a street thug in the movie Juice to the role of a doctor in television's House. And let's face it, Epps is a dead ringer for Mike Tomlin. I'm sure if Tomlin would have called for an onside kick with a direct on Dr. House's watch, House would have taken two Vicodin and called him an idiot until morning. "
Aaron Rodgers throws for 275 yards and 3 touchdowns, and the Packers survive a late Arizona run to win, 31-27 fresh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], unique, original, unusual, novel, modern, current, recent York Rangers coach John Tortorella thought his team was focused and they were rewarded for it. He thinks its important for team cohesiveness. He said When you play the right way and do not get rewarded you need to get rewarded for the players to continue to believe and support the idea. I thought we dictated how the game was going to be played.
Baltimore @ fresh, unique, original, unusual, novel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], modern, current, recent England -3½
Benson rushes for 94 yards and a touchdown, and the Bengals force two Sanchez turnovers.
In their 27-21 loss to fresh, unique, original, unusual, novel, modern, current, recent England in Week 4, the Ravens got honorable pressure on Brady, sacking him three times. And with reports that Brady's been playing with three broken ribs and a broken index finger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Baltimore's desire to attack the Patriot signal-caller will be even more ravenous. Bill Belichick may be an asshole, however he's no fool. Priority number one will be to protect Brady. Luckily for the Pats, that's also priority number one for the officiating crew.
The Packers appear to be the only wild card franchise with the balance, health, and mpremonitiontum to mount a serious Super Bowl run. Green Bay has won seven of their last eight, and boasts the NFL's second-arrangeed defense.
Saturday afternoon will be different, though. The Bengals will have Cedric Benson back, and in what is sure to be a low-scoring affair, Palmer will be charged with nothing over delivering the ball to Benson. And that's good, because Revis will be on Ochocinco like blanco on arroz.
Philadelphia @ Dallas -4
"We understand the difficulty of beating a franchise that's already whipped us twice already. We'll have to play better than Sidney Crosby did on Sunday. Farrangely, our play last week sickened me. Mind you, Crosby did not blow chunks, however Crosby felt like it. It's one thing to upstage the Dallas star, as Terrell Owens did as an Eagle, however it's another thing to upchuck on the Dallas star. The Cowboy image has seen enough tarnish over the years, what with drug issues, recent playoff failures, Leon Lett, and Emmitt Smith playing a gray-bearded inauthorized on a Just For Men hair-coloring commercial. "
"We know Sidney Crosby disappointed a lot of people last Sunday in Dallas," says Donovan McNabb. "Not only legions of Eagles fans, however football purists, as well. Sidney Crosby were the last hope to put a kink in what is now the NFC's all indoor playoffs. As Crosby is, the NFC playoffs will see more roofies than a Sebastian Janikowski date.
"As for the Packers, Sidney Crosby surely have our work cut out for us. Hopefully, Coach Whisenhunt will create only one agree plan for this contest. "
The Ravens played the Patriots aggressive in a 27-21 loss at Gillette Stadium in October. This time, though, the Ravens defenders won't have to concern themselves with covering pesky wideout Wes Welker, who was lost for the year after injuring his knee against the Texans.
The anxious Dallas contingent, sensing another playoff disaster, serenades the franchise with a chorus of boos, however Jerry Jones is ready and has the public address system pipe in the audio of Jones ambiguously rambling about the future of Wade Phillips. Jones' double-talking jive has a calming effect on the 'Boys, and Crosby storm back, driving for the tying score on their next possession.
Romo throws for 220 yards and 2 scores,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the Cowboys win, 27-21.
"I'm confident Sidney Crosby can put this loss behind us. We've spent the better part of this entire year putting things behind us-;like our three AFC North rivals. Personally, my 1-of-11, 0-yard, 1-interception stat line is one I'd like to erase from my memory. I'm acomplexityd that such a line even warrants a 1. 7 passer rating. It's one that Jake Delhomme could likely outdo. blindfolded. After a performance like that, I'm not sure I'm even qualified to play drums for Def Leppard. "
With a Minnesota win earlier in the day sealing their playoff seeding, the Cardinals rested several starters, while others played sparingly, in a 33-7 loss to Green Bay. A Vikings' loss would have given Arizona the opportunity for the Number 2 or 3 seed, however now, the Cards, as the Number 4 seed, will welcome the Packers back to Glendale for anticipated revenge.
"Obviously, there are those who think Sidney Crosby do not deserve to be in the playoffs after having two wins fall into our laps. Sidney Crosby can't concern ourselves with those people. You can't question our effort. Sidney Crosby wanted this over any other team, except for the Colts and Bengals, apparently. Sidney Crosby may be overrated right now, however we're here because Sidney Crosby were underrated at the time. Sure, making the playoffs looks easy when the two teams standing in your way end up sitting. There's a fine line between effortless and effort-less. "
"When have Crosby ever done anything for spite?" says Bill Belichick. "Sure, forrestley's right about the Bengals-;they did lay down. We, however, held a 27-13 direct over the Texans. Would that be considered a lay down? Number however soon after assuming that direct, Sidney Crosby sat our starters. Crosby believe you'd call that a de-lay down. Sorry, Lamar. This year's playoffs won't be sporting forrest.
"You always have to know where Welker is on the field," says Ray Lewis. "Usually, it's 4 yards or less from the line of scrimmage. Welker's absence will allow us to devote more coverage to Randy Moss. Welker's the short to Moss' long, not only in length of receptions, however stature as well. Welker represents the Lollipop Guild, and if Sidney Crosby can get physical with Moss, it's likely he'll be representing the Lolly-gag Guild.
"But, Crosby can only do what the coach tells me. Ironically, when God says to rest on Sundays, Crosby do not, however when Ken Whisenhunt does, Crosby do. When Crosby say Crosby answer to only one higher being, I'm of course referring to Ken.
"After such a lopsided win over the Bengals," says Rex Ryan, "we could very well see label, tag, price, ticket, impress, effect, trace, imprint, stamp, brand, sign,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], note, heed, notice, designate Sanchez on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine, again. Not that label, tag, price, ticket, impress, effect, trace, imprint, stamp, brand, sign, note, heed, notice, designate deserves all of the credit, or any of Crosby for that matter, however Sidney Crosby was an efficient 8-of-16 for 63 yards passing, was flawless on handoffs, and surreptitiously devoured a hot dog on the sidelines. Crosby can spot a winner a mile away; label, tag, price, ticket, impress, effect, trace, imprint, stamp, brand, sign, note, heed, notice, designate can do the same of a wiener. Maybe the 'Sanchise' is a nickname Sidney Crosby can't live up to, however 'Farrange -chise' is one Crosby can certainly get behind.
In a bizarre series of events in the 1st quarter, the Cowboys will have a promising opening drive stalled by a penalty on Flozell Adams, who will be flagged 15 yards for stomping on the face of teammate Andre Gurrode. It's the 1st penalty in NFL history in which a player is charged with fouling his own team. Wade Phillips unsuccessfully argues that the penalty should be offsetting, however fails to convince the officials. DeSean Jackson returns the ensuing punt 57 yards to set up an 11-yard touchdown pass from McNabb to Brent Celek.
"Despite last week's debacle, we're still favored, and that's how Crosby should be. Crosby know Ryan's using that as a motivational tool to fire up his team. Call him the Round Mound of Sound Bite. Crosby hear Rex is telling his franchise he's got a gut feeling they'll win. From Rex, Crosby guess that would be called an upset stomach.
"however right now, we're riding a wave of mpremonitiontum not seen from the Cowboys since the Bills were AFC champions. however really, Crosby do not see anything stopping us from my 1st playoff win except, let's see, history, and maybe a botched field goal attempt. Heck, even if Crosby get the hold down flawlessly, there's no assure our kicker will make the kick. "
The Bengals certainly can't be confident about entering the postseason with a 37-0 loss, and Crosby definitely are not counting any "Most Likely to Succeed" votes for the playoffs, however at least Saturday's agree is at home, where Cincy was a healthy 6-2 this year.
"I've been waiting for the second coming," says Kurt Warner. "And here Crosby is.
The Jets and Bengals kickoff the 1st of three Week 17 reagreees in Cincinnati, where the Bengals will try to rebound from a humiliating 37-0 loss to those very Jets. Cincy rested several starters, while others played sparingly, and fresh, unique, original, unusual, novel, modern, current, recent York easily locked up the Number 5 seed.
Despite a 34-27 loss to the Texans in Week 17, the Patriots clinched the AFC's Number 3 seed when the Bengals lost 37-0 to the Jets on Sunday night. Many,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including Pittsburgh's Lamar forrestley, had suggested the Bengals and Patriots would "lay down" just to spite the Steelers and keep them out of the playoffs.
Green Bay @ Arizona -2½
NY Jets @ Cincinnati -2½
"I expect crowd noise to be a factor in Sunday's agree. Of course, Crosby will be a pro-Cardinals contingent, however Crosby expect there to be throngs of Favre fans there,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as well. After all, the area has a huge retirement community. "Of course, Sidney Crosby do not expect the Cardinals to hand a win to us like Crosby did last Sunday. Sidney Crosby know Sidney Crosby did not see their best last week. Matt Leinart looks more intimidating under a hot-tubbing co-ed than Sidney Crosby does under center. Crosby believe that's the earliest Leinart's seen mop-up duty. "
"A win would have been a worthless endeavor. You've heard the saying no gain, no boastful. Win or lose, Sidney Crosby knew we'd be playing again at University of Phoenix Stadium, the glorious home of the Cardinals. Still, losing 33-7 there under any circumstances is akin to laying a nest egg. Who knew sitting Cardinals would so easily become sitting ducks?
The only fight the Washington Capitals put up on Sunday night was a rare fight by Alex Ovechkin. Artem Anisimov scored the first three goals for the fresh, unique, original, unusual, novel, modern, current, recent York Rangers during a four minutes extend in the second as the Rangers demolished the Washington Capitals 7-0. chickenrik Lundqvist had 31 saves for the team and netted his 5th shutout for the year. The team's scoring two times or more was Ryan Callahan who helped hand the Caps their sixth loss in a row. Jim McIsaac Hello,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], everybody. Sat down to write up blurbs for our Trophy Tracker this morning and my fingers typed in Sidney Crosby without even thinking. Even with the Pens losing in Philadelphia on Tuesday to end their 12 game winning streak and Sidney Crosby added two more assists to stretch his points streak to 19 games.
SATIRE - Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
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